Last Will and Testament and the Single Parent

If you are a single parent who gets along well with your ex then you are a part of a rare elite group. I don’t know if there are any studies or statistics on this matter and then again it sometimes depends on when you ask someone – the next day they may feel differently – but I don’t think I have ever met a single parent that got along with their ex and I am no different.

To say I hate my ex is an understatement, depending on the issue at hand, and some days I might even be over heard saying that I love him and care about him. Yeah, this applies to all my ex’s (even the one that this note does not refer to) but if you got along well then most likely you would still be together. These are natural and healthy emotions just as long as they don’t carry over in a way that hurts the children.

I’m not perfect and I’m one who hasn’t hesitated to tell my children, specifically my sons, how I feel in regards to their so-called father. Some would say this is not good for the children but I’m also not one to lie or sugar coat things either. However, regardless of my feelings I have never interfered in their relationships or prevented visitations.

Ok, I won’t bore you with the details because this is about Last Will and Testament.

Parents – don’t think for one moment that just because you hate your ex that you won’t leave your child things of monetary value just because you don’t want your ex to have access to it. My ex did this to my son – he passed away leaving everything to his housemates – according to an unsigned document they (allegedly) found on his computer. I can only assume this is because he hated me so much that he didn’t want me to benefit from anything he may have left to his son but what he failed to think about was how this left his son feeling emotionally. If you want to know a little more you can read Ever wish the ex would just die?

Each state varies in laws regarding Last Will and Testament’s but in Kansas you don’t need an attorney or have the document notarized however both will help speed up the process for your loved ones after you are gone. So don’t think just because you can’t afford an attorney that you can’t create a will. Just think, if you don’t have money how Will your children find the money to hire an attorney to acquire your assets and without a Will they will have to have an attorney to transfer ownership of things like homes, vehicles, bank accounts and more. Otherwise these things are lost to the state. Even with a Will they may have to hire an attorney so keep this in mind.

You can name an executor to handle the process and distribute the assets. If your only heir is a child this does not have to be the child’s other parent. This can be anyone you name and if there is a life insurance policy or things that can be sold the money can be held in an account or trust until the child is 18 or whatever age you specify or can be used for the child’s college education or however you wish. The ex doesn’t have to benefit from what you leave to your child other than not having to wipe away his tears or try to explain why because he is distraught because you didn’t care enough to leave him your belongings – especially if you live with others who can easily say the belongings are theirs. It won’t matter – the child (or child’s representative) will have to prove they are and without documentation this would be next to impossible.

Remember, although we are discussing material or monetary things most importantly we are talking about how this affects your child emotionally.

It is important to sign and date the document and have witnesses also sign and date. In Kansas there has to be two witnesses to you signing the document and they must sign stating that they witnessed you sign. These witnesses cannot be named as beneficiaries as it could prove a conflict in interest and invalidate the document. Be as specific as possible so as to not leave any room for misinterpretation of your wishes. I won’t provide a link to references as each state is different but anyone can google (or whatever search engine you prefer) “last will and testament in I won’t provide a link to references as each state is different but anyone can google (or whatever search engine you prefer) “last will and testament in (your) state and find the details or, if you can afford it, hire a lawyer. I did my will for, if I remember correctly, $200.